Shades of Blue

violet-indigo:

My boyfriend and I just got done with a video call on skype.

Yknow…he says hes feeling alone and depressed cause he doesnt really know anyone in Colorado Springs, but what frustrates me the most is that while he’s sitting there whining about feeling alone, I’m sitting here by myself. The only company I have is our son who is sound asleep upstairs who doesn’t even understand anything except how to cry, how to feed himself a cracker, and shit his brains out.

I understand why he thinks that joining the army is what’s best to support us. I understand- really I do. But what I don’t understand is how he could just sit there and tell me how lonely he’s feeling.

This is the 5th holiday he’s missing out on now. He’s missed my very first mothers day- didnt send me a card or anything, just wished me a ‘happy’ one because he was stuck in basic training and pretty much couldnt do SHIT, he wasnt here for his own first fathers day, he wasnt here for Nicks first 4th of July, or Halloween, and now Thanksgiving.

I swear he has no concept of loneliness. Sitting in Fort Carson by yourself is not being lonely. In a town full of people you know and love you and you’re sitting there feeling your heart ripped in two because the one you WANT to share these moments for ISN’T here- THAT’S loneliness. The knowledge that even though you’re in a room full of people, there’s just one person who’s not there…and can’t be.

I can’t wait for him to be here for Christmas, but with his deployment to Afganistan coming up pretty much right after Nicholas’ first birthday…I just feel like I’m the one who should be saying I feel alone.

I respect soldiers- I do. But in this case…I feel like I got the shit end of the stick. I’m the one stuck with a baby, living in an income based apartment, not having the money to pay bills, stuck with working at a job that gives you shit hours…and then to sit there at the end of the day and hear how you’re lonely and that you’re so unhappy. Switch lives with me. I fucking dare you.

I can’t say I completely understand what you’re going through, but I do know what it’s like to be lonely, to not have that one certain person there. My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for four years and just recently we had our fourth anniversary. We haven’t been able to really celebrate Valentine’s Day, we’ve had to spend Christmases exchanging gifts by mail, and I’ve never seen him on a Halloween or a 4th of July.

Trust me, it’s some very hard stuff to go through, but you know, we really love each other and since we really want this relationship to work, we try our best to communicate as often as possible. It’s a lot of work, with quite a bit of emotional difficulty, but you know, if you love someone enough and they love you, you’ll try to make things work, and if you can make it work, it makes that relationship stronger and all the more special. Now, as I said, I can’t say I completely understand because I’m not a single mom, but I do know what it’s like to not have that special somebody there physically next to you and it does suck sometimes.

Well, anyway, if you need someone to talk to sometime, I’ll listen. I’m just a Facebook message or a text away.

tonyburgess:

(AP) - Disney [which owns ABC] says it is buying ‘Star Wars’ maker Lucasfilm for $4.05 billion from George Lucas. It says it plans to produce & release a 7th Star Wars film in the year 2015. 

Greeeat, last thing we need is another new Star Wars film with special effects that overshadow what little there is to tell in the story and by Disney no less. Oh well, maybe with this change Lucas can focus on something else, although people are still going to be griping about the fact Yoda’s wearing mouse ears and Chewbacca sounding like Goofy.

Honestly, I could use more asks on here, and forgive that I haven’t done much of anything on here lately. My internet has been extremely limited this month so I haven’t been able to post anything. =/

Just in case anyone’s wondering, though, things have been going rather well. I just started volunteering last week at Art in the Loft, a gallery in Alpena, and as a result, I’m hoping perhaps I can land a job in the creative field and maybe get my artwork exhibited. I’ve also started meeting more people in the art community. Here’s hoping things continue to go well. Also, this upcoming weekend, I’m going to go see my boyfriend. Yay.

(Source: blaine-castiel, via allkindsofawfulnerdshit)

You just learned a bit about me:

• I am a cuddler.
• I am a morning person.
• I am an only child.
• I am currently in my pajamas.
• I am currently pregnant.
• I am left handed.
• I am a little shy wary around the opposite sex.
• I bite my nails.
• I can be paranoid at times.
• I enjoy country music. 
• I enjoy smoothies.
• I enjoy talking on the phone. 
• I have a car.
• I have/had a hard time paying attention at school.
• I have a hidden talent.
• I have a pet.
• I have a tendency to fall for the “wrong” guy/girl.
• I have all my grandparents.
• I have been to another country.
• I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor.
• I have or had broken a bone.
• I have caller I.D. on my phone.
• I have bathed someone.
• I have changed a diaper.
• I have changed a lot over the past year.
• I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
• I have had major/minor surgery.
• I have killed another person.
• I have had my hair cut within the last week.
• I have mood swings.
• I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
• I have rejected someone before.
• I like the taste/texture of blood.
• I love Michael Jackson.
• I love sleeping.
• I love to shop.
• I own 100 CDs or more. 
• I own and use a library card.
• I read books for pleasure in my spare time.
• I sleep a lot during the day.
• I watch soap operas k-dramas on a regular basis.
• I work at a job that I enjoy. (Well, it’s freelance work, but I love it.)
• I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
• I am wearing socks.
• I am tired.
• I love to paint/draw/sketch/sculpt.
• I consume at least one alcoholic drink every month.

I have/had:

• Finished college.
• Smoked cigarettes.
• Ridden every ride at an amusement park.
• Collected something really stupid.
• Gone to a concert.
• Helped someone.
• Spun turn tables.
• Watched four movies in one night.
• Been broken up with.
• Taken a college level course.
• Been in a car accident.
• Been in a tornado.
• Watched someone die.
• Been to a funeral.
• Burned yourself.
• Ran a marathon.
• Your parents got divorced or separated.
• Cried yourself to sleep.
• Spent over $200 in one day.
• Cheated on someone.
• Been cheated on.
• Written a 10 page letter.
• Had a best friend.
• Lost someone you loved.
• Skipped school.
• Gotten in trouble for something you didn’t do.
• Stolen books from the library. 
• Been in a mental hospital.
• Watched the “Harry Potter” movies.
• Fired a gun.
• Been in a school play.
• Been fired from a job.
• Taken a lie detector test.
• Swam with dolphins.
• Attempted suicide.
• Written poetry.
• Read more than 20 books a year.
• Gone to Europe.
• Loved someone you couldn’t have.
• Used a colouring book over age 12.
• Had surgery.
• Had stitches.
• Taken a taxi.
• Had more than 5 online conversations going at once.
• Had a hamster.
• Dyed your hair.
• Had something pierced.
• Gotten straight A’s.
• Your parents sent you to a shrink.
• Been handcuffed.

My hair is naturally the color:

• Light brown.
• Medium brown.
• Dark brown.
• Blonde.
• Black.
• Dirty blonde.
• Strawberry blonde/Ginger.
• Multicoloured.

My eyes are:

• Brown.
• Blue.
• Green.
• Hazel.
• Light brown.
• A combination of things.
• Ice Blue.

I am:

• Male.
• Female.

People sometimes label me as:

• Slut.
• Girly.
• Ugly.
• Nerd.
• Weird.
• Beyonce.

Some of my biggest fears are:

• Spiders
• Dying.
• Doctor/Dentist appointments.
• Hospitals.
• Needles.
• Disease.
• Being alone in the dark.
• Heights.
• Small spaces.
• Oceans/large bodies of water.
• Holes.
• Large animals.
• Small animals.
• Open spaces.
• Lightning.
• People.
• Asteroids.

I have:

• A friend with benefits.
• A laptop in my room.
• A television in my room.
• Good grades.
• My own car.
• Married parents. 

(Source: askaverybow, via tonyhawkstrider)

psych-facts:

1. Be Proactive 

Take actions to plan, obtain resources, gather information, and carry out plans. Take initiatives to propose an idea, to carry it out, and to see it through. Take responsibilities for the mistakes that occur and be willing to make sacrifices. 

2. Prioritize 

Put important things first. Some people recommend doing what’s most urgent first (what’s due earlier), but usually it’s on what counts the most. So for example, if you have a quit that’s worth 5% due in the next day, but a project worth 25% due in three days, the more important task to first is actually the 25%. 

3. Figure Out What You Want

Determine what you want, and go for it. Envision the end goal and have each step work towards it. Try not to go all over the place. For example, if your goal is to get a decent job after you graduate, then focus on the things that are most likely to land you that job. 

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